T minus 4 days indeed

Joe – Forty-five years ago, on July 8, 1971, a funny thing happened. I was born (and my brother too).   During those forty-five years, I have been blessed with family, friends, and colleagues, all of whom I cherish.  With a lot of support from the aforementioned, I have managed to cobble together a life with more ups than downs, and more than a couple of adventures to keep life spicy.
Thanks to the efforts of my courageous wife and the tolerance of my even more courageous daughter, we are embarking on what may be our most crazy adventure to date.  With everything seemingly going mid-life-smoothly (job, health, house, school, retirement fund, etc.), and with a palpable fear of exhaling fully, lest I rock this rickety boat, Ali, Maya, and I are picking up and moving to Switzerland. In four days.
What was I thinking?  First, Ali wanted to go, and I want to support her.  That’s sufficient rationale, in my book, but there is more. Sticking to the familiar brings comfort and a sense of security. In the coming year, I will explore new places, meet new people, speak a new language, eat new foods, and I will do it all with my wife and daughter. I can’t help but smile, thinking to myself: How cool is that?  But I think there’s even more. Seeking the unfamiliar, the new, and the different certainly brings stress. Managing (surviving!) that stress pays huge dividends – It brings meaning to life, resiliency to character, and opportunities to learn about oneself. I am looking forward to giving myself that gift, and sharing it with Ali and Maya.
It’s one thing to want to go abroad for the year. It’s another thing entirely to pull it off. I would be remiss starting off a blog like this without expressing the gratitude I feel for everybody – friends, family, coworkers, and total strangers both in the States and in Europe – who have made this adventure possible.  On our behalf, some of you stuck your necks out with nothing to gain and lots to lose.  You said “Yes” when the easy thing to do was to say “No”.  Thank you, thank you, for your tolerance, patience, and support.
Today is my 45th birthday today – let’s call it mid-life. Seems like a good time for a new adventure…

T minus 4 days

FullSizeRender Ali – So it started with an idea…how amazing would it be to spend a year somewhere else?  And I’m not talking about Iowa (not that there is anything wrong with Iowa – nobody caucuses and de-tassels corn like Iowans).  But I mean foreign somewhere else.  Go live life
brewing in another culture, slowing the onset of cognitive decline by learning a foreign language, and enjoying a work life balance that is..errr…not American.  Plus there were the perks for my daughter!  Everyone knows that multi-lingual kids thrive!  Seeing the world will give her perspective, resilience, independence!  And then there was hubby Joe.  How often have I heard the Abraham family tale of mom and pop Abraham camping around Germany with twin toddler boys, safety -pinning the tent shut with said toddlers trapped inside when they needed a night out at the hofbrauhaus? Clearly these were the best of times!

Now 12ish months later we have been through the rinse cycle of international relocation planning. Who would have guessed that there is a BIG reason why folk relocate internationally with the blessing and support of a multi-national corporation employer and not so much otherwise unless they fall under the heading “refugee”.  Also know with absolute certainty that there is never a perfect time to move internationally.  This is exactly like having a baby or hip replacement surgery.  You just dive in with a prayer that there will be joy and good painkillers after its over.  So a few tips if you decide to embark on this X-games-like feat of endurance, mental stamina and determination:

  1. Talk to other people about their experiences abroad, take copious notes and ask lots of questions and then toss it all in the trash and forget what they said.  Your experience will be truly uniquely torturous and stressful.
  2. Up the frequency of your marital counselling sessions and ask your counselor to refer you to a good child therapist for your kid, who will be devastated when you gleefully tell her you have arranged for the family to spend a year abroad.
  3. Download Pimsleur language lessons and start religiously doing the lessons as your efforts to learn the local language will feel like the only thing that is making progress and is marginally in your control.

Ok, ok so there are also positives at this early stage.  You know all those annoying personal tasks that one procrastinates doing when the status quo has you enfolded in her comforting arms?  Those will ALL get done in the span of 2-4 months.  Get Will and Power of Attorney docs drawn up. CHECK!  Have unsightly cyst removed from neck.  CHECK!   Clean out years of office detritus. CHECK!  See long lost neglected friends who live embarrassingly close to you. CHECK!  Finally switch cell phone plans after overspending for years. CHECK!  The list goes on and on.  I’ll never know for sure but I think this is what mania feels like.