Ali- You know how sometimes you think something it pretty good and then one day you find out that what you always thought was pretty good was actually sort of crappy?
So I always thought that America was pretty serious about Christmas. I mean there are Christmas trees up in malls in November and what neighborhood doesn’t have at least a couple blindingly festive homes. Well now I know that America is a Christmas lightweight. Europe has taken it to the next level.
First there are the ubiquitous Christmas markets. These are month-long outdoor markets with vendors hocking every conceivable item or food out of quaint little wooden shacks. You can also get every beverage known to man in a mulled preparation so you have something hot and often boozy to hold while wandering through the miles of wares. 
As evening falls these things light up like supernova with simulated LED icecicles and snowflakes. Folk in Colmar-our first Christmas market experience- really got into it. It looked like a toy tsunami hit the town and dumped stuffed animals on every window ledge.
Zurich has three Christmas markets or Weihnachtmarkt that I have seen and I’ve heard reports of several others. The Hauptbahnhof has quite a nice one with a fantastically magical tree and fantastically expensive gifts for the whole family. We couldn’t resist getting a bottle of Chai liquor, which we can put in our coffee in the morning to avoid having to choose between coffee, tea or booze.
All of 500 feet further down the road is a second Weihnachtmarkt with the “singing Christmas tree”. This is a giant tiered stage that they have decked out to look like a tree and they have small elfish children come sing in it on every hour. I know you think I’m making this up but I have photographic proof.
And while you listen to the dulcet tones of freezing children singing, you can eat buckets of melted cheese at the Rachlette Hüsli or potatoes at the Kartoffel Hüsli. 
There’s plenty of mulled beverages here as well and, in fact, I’m guessing the children up in the singing tree probably get quite a buzz off the alcohol fumes wafting skyward.
Every night, besides the Christmas Markets, there are festive events. Tonight was the Weihnachten run, where a large number of runners do laps around the Limmat in central Zurich. If that’s not enough you will find that every third person you meet is dressed up as either Saint Nikolaus a.k.a Samichlause (who IS NOT Santa Clause) or Baby Jesus, who comes looking like a woman with wings and gives gifts (really…I am not creative enough to make this stuff up). 
There is also a very weird character called Schmutzli (loosely translated as dirty guy), who is the guy that accompanies Saint Nikolaus and doles out the punishment to the naughty kids.
Now in Zurich you can actually order on the web a Samichlaus to come to your home for varying amounts of cash depending upon the number of kids to be visited. The order requires you to fill out and incredibly intrusive survey about your home life. Again I’m actually not making this up even though it seems like the plot for Home Alone 5. In case you were wondering, no we did not order a Samichlaus.
Well I have to say that America will have to get its act together. They are way behind on festiveness and we still have the Parade of the Samichlauses and the lighted boat launch down the Limmat in the days ahead. The latter event involves school children setting paper boats on fire. If that doesn’t make your soul cry Christmas! you are obviously dead.
