Ali – Many folk describe Ireland as their favorite trip. So we were pretty excited to see what was so darn great about it, outside of the famous beer and whiskey, delightful accents and verdant green hills. Unlike Switzerland, you really can’t get anywhere without a car. My carefully crafted itinerary had us meandering down the western coast but I admit I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the exact travel time or road conditions that we would face. I did make several frantic pleas to Joe to make sure his parents got a big enough car…and when they told us we would have to limit our luggage, the reality of a long Irish car trip did start to press on my brain. But I remained optimistic and trusted to frequent whisky distillery stops to -shall we say- lubricate the situation.
So Wednesday afternoon found the 5 of us headed out of Dublin in a BMW 319D hatchback, with Maya, Judy and me all pressed together in the back like conjoined triplets. I should also mention that two out of the set get carsick.
But I tried to maintain my optimism and sense of adventure, while doling out the chewable Dramamine like candy. About 4 hours later we arrived in Connemara just in time to prevent the decubitus ulcers from forming on my hips. We were staying at a lovely B&B that overlooked the picturesque Connemara National Park. Out on a much needed walk we saw a rare hornless Connemara unicorn, proving that Ireland is magical. 
The next day, after a delightful Irish breakfast, we went to visit Kylemore Abbey, a famous castle with Victorian gardens and a big stone middle finger greeting guests in what I assume is a traditional Irish salute. 
We hiked the Connemara National Park next, which is a bit like the desolate beauty of California’s southern dessert sections. Note that clothing is recommended but not required in Connemara. 
Other top hits here were the Sky Road and the ubiquitous horseback riding tours, which was great until my ‘automatic drive’ horse, Tom, drove me right into a briar bush. 
Back in the car, we headed southeast to Kilcolgan, where I had booked us one night in a castle (because clearly that had to be done and they are actually bookable on AirBnB). Except for the castle and a famous eatery called Moran’s Oyster Cottage on the Wyre, there is nothing to do in Kilcolgan, which gave us more time to wander the castle saying things like I’ll be in the armory polishing my shield if anyone needs me. Maya spent a good amount of time in the Drawing Room…. guess what she was doing?
The next morning we headed towards County Clare, stopping along the way to do some Falconry, as it is the sport of kings and queens. We sprang for the Hawk Walk, which was a nice hike through the woods with a Harris’s Hawk. Maya was our designated hawk holder.
We also did the falconry show and had a couple other feathery companions briefly lured to us with raw meat. 
Next onto County Clare of Cliffs of Moher fame. You might better know these as the Cliffs of Insanity from The Princess Bride, one of my all-time favorite movies. Rich mentioned these were a near miss for making the Natural Wonders List. 
Our AirBnB was about a 30 minute walk from the cliffs, but I found out the exact definition of an Irish wetland trying to get there one morning. 
The famous Doolin Caves are also here, which boast the largest stalactite in Europe and third largest in the world. Apparently it was discovered by two students who thought it would be a good idea to follow a disappearing stream for two hours on their bellies through pitch black. I suspect they were looking for the legendary Spring of Guinness. 
Also of note: 1) we picked up our key to the house at a bar, which has to be the essence of Irish AirBnB; 2) the incredibly small town, Liscannor, where we picked up said key also had an amazing restaurant called Vaughan’s Anchor Inn and an artisan bakery called Sea Salt. In general, the food in Ireland was shockingly good and flavorful. 
Back in the car, we headed to Bunratty Castle, which is exactly what one thinks of when they think Irish castle. It was restored by a passionate aristocrat to prime midevil condition, complete with small dungeon pit off the dining hall and hole-in-the-castle toilet that unloaded over the moat. The authentic village scene around the castle was equally fun and this is a full day of activities if you don’t have miles of Irish road yet ahead before reaching the next AirBnB stop. 
The next stop was the Dingle Peninsula, which was probably the most scenic of the trip. Miles of beaches and cliffs. 
We also toured the Celtic History Museum, which had an intact mammoth skull, cave bear skeleton, ancient gender-specific Celtic bathroom symbols, and the best description ever of what Celtic warriors looked like going into battle
In the area, one can also visit 5000 year-old beehive stone huts. Turns out stone houses offer few amenities but they are very durable. As you can read below, the style of building is called corbelling and shows that all you really need is an endless supply of stone to build a structure. These structures also confirmed my growing suspicion that the early Irish were actually Dwarves. As we all know from the historically accurate Lord of the Rings tale, Dwarves are stone crafters, which would explain all the random stone walls throughout the country as well as these stone huts. 
The Glarius Oratory is another example of fine Dwarvish craftery. However note the slightly judgemental tone on the visitor ticket, which was shocking to hear coming from Dwarves. I’ll have them know that I felt very close to God on every cliffside road and called to him frequently from my corner of the back seat. 
Finally my trip was made complete by a glimpse of the elusive Dingle Berry
Our last stop of Irish CarSquish 2016 was the Ring of Kerry. We had our final AirBnB in Castlecove, a stone’s throw from the beach. The Ring is another scenic road tour, which Maya and I couldn’t stomach (literally) . So we saw local sites instead, including the Staigue Fort and the home of Daniel O’Conner, the liberator and emancipator of Ireland. We actually met the great great great great great grandson of Daniel in a pub called the Blind Piper near Castlecove. He likened Daniel to Fredrick Douglas when asked for an American historical equivalent but many would probably name Abraham Lincoln. 
Well that about wrapped it up. I don’t think I need to give you the blow by blow on the 5 hour road trip back to Dublin, which was about as uncomfortable and squished as I imagine birth is for a baby, and I’m hoping to forget it similarly. I would like to end with providing a useful bit of Gaelic vocabulary I picked up in Kilarney: