Ali – At the end of the summer, the fat Alpen cows descend from the mountains to the more temperate climate of the Swiss valley. There is something about this annual trek that says ‘good excuse for beer drinking and meat on a stick!!’ to your average Swiss villager. So throughout September and October, one can train out to a small village and watch the Alpabfahrt (go ahead and get all the fart jokes out of your system… I’ll wait…). We picked Schüpfheim as our small village viewing spot. 
The plan was to train with some Austrailian friends to a mid-fahrt (giggle pause) spot and hike down with the cows to Schüpfheim. Frankly I wasn’t convinced this was the best plan, as I couldn’t think of any position in a line of cows that would make for enjoyable hiking. But who am I to be a cow party pooper? So we got off the train in Entlebuch and followed the wanderweg towards Hasle, which was listed on the brochure as the starting place for one of the cattle drives.
The lovely wanderweg led down to a river. This probably should have been our first hint that the plan had gone awry. But frankly we were having a lovely hike through a series of covered bridges and were distracted watching Maya and Orion (Austrailian buddy from school) goofball their way along. 
When we got to Hasle there was an eerie lack of cowbell noise and two guys drinking home brew out of the back of a truck. Turns out the tricky Swiss named both a town and a region Hasle. We were two hours away from the actual 
cattle drive start point, but luckily only 1 hour away from the endpoint at Schüpfheim. Onward!
Fast forward an hour and we have been passed by all the Swiss elderly hiking to the festival and are now arriving in the town. We wander past a Swiss swing set and 
enter the festive atmosphere of a village waiting for cows. Crowds were lined up on the Main Street 
and vendors were hawking alp cheese in various formats: chunked cheese bits, melted cheese, cheesey quiche, block of cheese, bread with cheese, etc. We parked ourselves on a curb, cracked open beers (because it was 11am and we needed something to wash down the cheese) and got ready for the parade, not knowing exactly what to expect. What followed was an auditory and visual spectacle.
First let me just say that if you are anything like me, everything you know about Swiss yodeling came from The Price Is Right game show where the little Swiss dude climbs up the mountain to yodeling music. I am now feeling a bit betrayed by Bob Barker because that’s not really what Swiss yodeling sounds like. Swiss yodeling looks and sounds like this: img_28091
Next came the alphorns. This is also a sound that is really hard to imagine or mimick on a game show. Gus, Orion’s father, called it a Swiss digerydoo, which apparently he plays because, you know, he’s Australian. Apparently there’s one basic note but you can also play the harmonics by changing your mouth shape while blowing. When you get a whole flock or gaggle or herd of alpenhorns together, the sound is truly spectacular: img_28111 tvdk52441
Finally the cows came home. I don’t know what past-life cow herder memory this evoked, but I have to admit I got a bit emotional watching the cows and herder families parade through the street. The sound of 30 cow bells resonating through the air and the sight of doe-eyed, flower -bedecked cows was stirring: img_28111. The sight and smell of 30 cows worth of poo schmeared across the street like cream cheese on a bagel evoked a different emotion and made the cheese products seem slightly less appealing.
This scene was repeated 7 times as 7 herder families made the trek down with their flowery cows, and then the industrial size street washer – WaschSchnecken …yes, the wash snail; I kid you not – made a pass power washing the poo away with Swiss efficiency.
There’s a last little fun fact that I would like to share. Apparently Entlebuch is the official Swiss Alien Welcoming Region. Yup. Aliens. Welcoming Region. Check out this promotional video. So take that, SETI!! Only Swiss genius could have come up with the idea of wafting cheese aroma into space to attract aliens.
