Ali – So it started with an idea…how amazing would it be to spend a year somewhere else? And I’m not talking about Iowa (not that there is anything wrong with Iowa – nobody caucuses and de-tassels corn like Iowans). But I mean foreign somewhere else. Go live life
brewing in another culture, slowing the onset of cognitive decline by learning a foreign language, and enjoying a work life balance that is..errr…not American. Plus there were the perks for my daughter! Everyone knows that multi-lingual kids thrive! Seeing the world will give her perspective, resilience, independence! And then there was hubby Joe. How often have I heard the Abraham family tale of mom and pop Abraham camping around Germany with twin toddler boys, safety -pinning the tent shut with said toddlers trapped inside when they needed a night out at the hofbrauhaus? Clearly these were the best of times!
Now 12ish months later we have been through the rinse cycle of international relocation planning. Who would have guessed that there is a BIG reason why folk relocate internationally with the blessing and support of a multi-national corporation employer and not so much otherwise unless they fall under the heading “refugee”. Also know with absolute certainty that there is never a perfect time to move internationally. This is exactly like having a baby or hip replacement surgery. You just dive in with a prayer that there will be joy and good painkillers after its over. So a few tips if you decide to embark on this X-games-like feat of endurance, mental stamina and determination:
- Talk to other people about their experiences abroad, take copious notes and ask lots of questions and then toss it all in the trash and forget what they said. Your experience will be truly uniquely torturous and stressful.
- Up the frequency of your marital counselling sessions and ask your counselor to refer you to a good child therapist for your kid, who will be devastated when you gleefully tell her you have arranged for the family to spend a year abroad.
- Download Pimsleur language lessons and start religiously doing the lessons as your efforts to learn the local language will feel like the only thing that is making progress and is marginally in your control.
Ok, ok so there are also positives at this early stage. You know all those annoying personal tasks that one procrastinates doing when the status quo has you enfolded in her comforting arms? Those will ALL get done in the span of 2-4 months. Get Will and Power of Attorney docs drawn up. CHECK! Have unsightly cyst removed from neck. CHECK! Clean out years of office detritus. CHECK! See long lost neglected friends who live embarrassingly close to you. CHECK! Finally switch cell phone plans after overspending for years. CHECK! The list goes on and on. I’ll never know for sure but I think this is what mania feels like.